BLAIRE BITCH PROJECT

I Hope I Don't Have A Brain Tumor

Like Eli Stone Or That Episode Of Scrubs Because...

I literally laughed myself into hysterics when this played  this morning while I was driving. I almost had to pull over. I was laughing like the Joker!

Why?

Because I started thinking about how much I  loved this song and guys that looked like this and thought he was SOOO deep and how he was so hot and perfect and was the coolest guy ever and now...

THAT'S SOMEBODY'S DAD!

LOL (but just me laughing AT me) 

I'm calling my DR

...Or you can make a video that looks like this...

Tyra Mail

Dear Soup host Joel McHale,

I am sorry I said that I thought you were gay live on the air. Not that there is ANYTHING wrong if you were, but there was no reason for me to say that. When someone mentioned your wife my mouth stopped working with my brain and I..."popped off". I know excuses, excuses. It was a long time ago.

:)

Anyway after watching last weeks show I grew to love you even more.

Happy Holidays! Lets hate on Tyra together this year.

xx

B

No No Suri Don't Touch That

I guess both Nicole Kidman and Katie Holmes have some form of herpes...Hmmmm what do these 2 have in common?



Just sayn...
 

SMH

1 Question

Most of the time when I see a "hot" viral video my brain instantly thinks of the first interview question I'd ask the creator. 99% of the time it's never a serious question.

This time it is, "Please, walk me through the writing process of this song" 

Honestly. 

In my head I see some shots, acrylic nails with multi colored designs tapping away on like a Sidekick III or an iphone, it's 1am and "smokey", and like 5 girls yelling suggestions for reasons to have to "Smell Yo D**k".

Which, BTW is exactly how I work :)

Minus the d**k.

Oh no I love you, MEN!

Ok I LOVE JASON SEGEL. Stupidly, embarrassingly, awkwardly LOVE him! LOVE. Like geeked out, make a fool of myself, screaming Twilight fan freak love. Then Paul Rudd. My dreamy Clueless man! (there were only 2 girls I knew then. 1. The Jeremy Sisto "Rollin with the homies" girls and 2. The Paul Rudd "I'm in love with my step brother" girls) So this movie would be like one of those baby oiled "Sexy Man 2009" calenders women who never leave the office would have up. Oh and a bunch of other funny people thrown in. Jon Favreau, Andy Samberg, Jaime Pressly & Rashida Jones.

I Love You, Man Trailer

Babies Can Be Fierce Too

This is what Britney Spears kids do when she isn't looking.
( She also performs better than Britney...cuter than Beyonce)
:)

NOT A Good Look

I'm Just Sayin...

It looks like a still from a porn. Like a 4 guys 1 girl a Joe Francis/ Larry Flint production.

Aubrey O'Day NEVER stops degrading herself.

Jennifer Aniston Is A Comedic Genius!

Well that's an overstatement.

But she is REALLY funny...when she's talking about herself.

But who else could talk about the situation? 

Here's what she had to say in GQ about the relationship she has with Brad and Angie (or lack there of).

                     

"The funny thing is that people don't realize we all go away to the Hamptons on the weekends... No. But can you imagine? That'd be hysterical: I've got Zahara on my hip, and Knox..."

If a hot younger woman that could kick my ass stole my man I'm not sure I'd even be able to joke.

Good for you Jen. It's your week.

*UPDATE: I just saw this picture. If Jen wasn't a cutter before she is now.

Come on! Look at his face. It's the "I'd tap that" mixed with the "that's what SHE said" face.

 

Then SHE makes it worse

...Did I Miss Something?

Why is there a new Jennifer Aniston calender? Why now? I just don't get it. 

I understand everyone's got bills to pay...but I just don't get the demand for this, and the pictures! It doesn't even make a good gag gift. Just recycle your old "Central Perk" one from '99.

 

It looks like some people will have 12 months of bland.

I seriously don't get this. I know it's not for charity because out of nowhere a BAM a boob:

Can't figure it out...I mean if it was JOHN Aniston I'd get it. 

The man is Victor Kiriakis! That I get.

Deaf Jam

Man Down.

Foxy Brown has a few problems. She going deaf, she's in an abusive relationship, she's on parole, she has anger issues and now:

SHE CANT KEEP A TOP ON

Jesus! For weeks the Ill NaNa has been looking so National Geographic it's made me stop drinking milk. I'm so tired of seeing those flotation devices with their huge nips.

Here's my mental slide show:

 

And Now this:

(Just jump to the end)

TYRA MAIL

Like Sheree & Ne Ne

I don't like Tyra...nope.
Not because she tried to intimidate me at a Golden Globes buffet table (she was hovering over some spare ribs like a chicken hawk) while I was trying to talk to Queen Latifah. Not because she was a bratty beeeeeyoch when she getting ready to meet the Dalai Lama.
I hate her because she spreads her special hybrid of sassy ghetto stupidity and self centered neediness at a speed that rivals the AIDS rate in Africa.

I hope the quote is fake, the sad thing is evidence says it isn't.
She's just that stupid.

 There Will Never Be A Blaire And Tyra, never.

Game On

I Thought I Told Ya

Stop Gang Banging On The Poon

Seriously They Are My Ovaries! I'm Not Gonna Be Strong Armed!

Oooooh Soooome Booody Is Trouble! Oh White Corporate Pharmaceutical America I understand thats just a "b" to you just please never put these ads on any Martin Luther King or Malcom X Blvd in any city.

:)