BLAIRE BITCH PROJECT

Friends With Benefits :)

My bestie and author Robert Rave Twittered about a "site for lazy people" and I was all in. (FYI I love quizzes of any kind. I was that girl who wasn't mad when the teacher said pop quiz)
It's limited to a few subjects now but it's still a good online Magic 8 Ball.
About Hunch:

What should I be for Halloween? Do I need a Porsche? Should I dump that loser? Is Phoenix a good place to retire? Whom should I vote for? What toe ring should I buy?In 10 questions or less, Hunch will offer you a great solution to your problem, concern or dilemma, on hundreds of topics. Hunch's answers are based on the collective knowledge of the entire Hunch community, narrowed down to people like you, or just enough like you that you might be mistaken for each other in a dark room. Hunch is designed so that every time it's used, it learns something new. That means Hunch's hunches are always getting better.

(Click below)
http://www.hunch.com/

Bethenny Frankel Is Back

The Real Housewives of NJ is boring, well 85% boring. Teresa has a little spunk and Danielle is almost Kelly (NY) crazy.

But nothing in the wonderful world of Bravo can even compare to the verbal goddess that is

Bethenny Frankel:

Oh Now I See

KHate!

So Kate from John & Kate Plus 8 has been getting a lot of bad press. Sure on the show she's an overwhelmed mother of 8, sure they probably would be considered rich if they didn't have EIGHT kids so they keep cranking out episodes to make $, yes she totally emasculates her husband routinely, but is she really a stone cold beeyoch?

Seems like it:

 

She bounces between verbally beating her husband and physically hitting Chef Emeril Lagasse. Emeril brought his BAM! squad in for the John & Kate 100th episode to help John in the kitchen and teach the family how to cook "good" cost efficient meals. 

...Kate starts to get too comfortable about 3 minutes into this clip:

"Somebody gettin' fired"

So everyone was talking about a Beyonce MELTDOWN. 

After they called what happened before a "fall" (it was soooo much more than a fall. I felt sooo bad) I should have known when it comes to Beyonce people lie.

She DID (I think) fire someone onstage. 

Listen to her call for "lights" at the bottom of the stairs. 

If only The Apprentice could fire people this way! That would be great!

I'll NEVER sing Diva the same again.

Destinys Child Fight Caught On Tape

You Know It Would Go Down Like this:

Twithef**k???

#Please don't kill me

Sooo someone (I guess) tried to murder Tila Tequila. I get that people tweet everything but this is just redic!

Details Thinks It's Funny

A-Rod

The best part of this entire issue is the cover. Details so conveniently placed a story about how "Jesus can save your career" above A Rod (and his Kaballah string). 

Maddona dumped pre divorce A Rod , her husband Guy, and hooked up with Jesus Luz(22) and it's been all up hill since then. She had a Posh & Becks style porno-shoot for W Magazine and she's back to being the Sex-pop-goddess(old mother hubbard) that she wants to be. 

So Jesus really did save her career...kinda sorta NOT. But I see you Details.

The story about "gay porn star identical twins" and this picture from A Rod was a nice touch too. Cute.

Bethenny Frankel Changed My Life

Ok so when Vicky fell on Real Housewives of Orange County I learned God was always watching and that My Name Is Earl kind of "karma" exists.

Bethenny has taught my simple brain that it's not how much time you have but how you use it. She is NOT a housewife, not the most likely "fan favorite" but she rocked this one liner so hard I cant stop saying it.

"Dis-Countess" as in "not countess like or appropriate"

I know this was LAST weeks episode but this weeks was Ramona filled and she makes me CRAZY. 

(if you missed Vicky fall...here it is)

U Can Hate Her Now

But She Won't Stop Now!
I just said "work it!!!" to the computer screen!
Say whateva' you like about Britney but she knows how to make a great song and an even better video!
Here's the link for If You Seek Amy or iF yoU CeeK aiMEe
BRITNEY SPEARS "If You Seek Amy" VIDEO

Ummm Lets Talk About YOU For A Minute

"It's not a sound bite, this is a real situation. If you can't have compassion for others ... just imagine it being your sister or your mom or someone like that, then think about how you should talk about that." 

-Jay-Z to reporters asking about Chris Brown and Rihanna

 NO Rhianna should not be with Chris Brown. I don't care what the situation was. If 2 friends got into a fight like that they don't need to be friends anymore, so to say "because he's doing her its ok"...NOPE!

We all know about Ike & Tina. Look how long it took her to leave. So Chris is a f***ed up individual & Rihanna has issues. Done, now onto THESE n***az. 

So things got HIGHlarious at the studio in the ATL. Jermaine Dupri and Usher thought it would be funny to start filming their unique and witty take on Christina Milian's new look (she's prob doing a movie) and RiRi and Chris for JD's web series. They can blame it on the ah-ah ah-ah ah-al-co-hol or man up and realize they were on their high pink unicorn. Either way no dude in the room should be saying ANYTHING! The "Oceans 5" crew as they call themselves have nooooooo biz talking about another persons looks or relationship. JD posted the video that night and for some reason it was removed. Hmmm??? He probably put it in the back of his closet with the rest of his skeletons.

Then Usher being a typical mamas boy cried to the press this morning about the big kids making him say those things. He's sowwee. 

“The comments made during a recent recording session amongst friends were taken out of context and blown out of proportion,” the statement reads. “I apologize on behalf of myself and my friends if anyone was offended. The intentions were not to pass judgment and we meant no harm. I respect and wish the best for all parties involved"

Eat one Usher! 

If you care this group is made up of:

A personal asst (JD's human key chain) Jermaine Dupri (one of the smallest and ugliest hitmakers, oh and his marriage is a JOKE)  Johnta Austin (I hope one day some guy hits your mom, sister, AND grandma like you were jumping around in the background. A suit and tie don't make you a man) Usher (ummm didn't your asst...I mean WIFE just fly to Brazil and go in to a COMA to keep you because you are constantly cheating and BTW all the f**king in the world won't change the gay activities in your past AAAND your mama said your marriage is a sham) and  Bryan Cox (Beyonce's key chain)

Brooklyn Stand Up

Sheeee's Baaaacck!

Ok, I will be the FIRST to admit that I thought Foxy had gone 5150 (or 730 in NY) permanently and trashed her career. Looks like I was wrong about the trashing her career part...JUST that part.

She had a great thing going with Jay-Z before she began to go deaf. Jay was actually the first person to point out that something might be wrong with her hearing and convince Inga/Foxy to go to the Dr.  It seemed like things were going well. THEN Foxy (during one of her more desperate moments) decided to spill her guts to XXL for a cover story.

In the article Foxy said,

“A lot of things have happened over the years between Jay and I,” she says of the man who signed her to a multimillion-dollar deal at Def Jam in 2005, nine years after their classic duet “Ain’t No N*gga” gave him his first radio hit. “But there’s an unbreakable bond that will never die. 50 wanted me to be part of his team so bad. He was like, ‘Look, I’ll do it with Jay, half and half.’ And, of course, Jay said no. At one point, 50 asked, ‘Why do you have so much loyalty to this N*gga?’  Jay and I have history. There are things that he could have done better, as far as his loyalty to me, and I’m sure I’ve made mistakes that he felt he could’ve prevented.” Foxy chokes up. “When I lost my hearing, Jay gave me the respect to go heal myself. He stuck with me along the way. But there are times when I just really needed him, and it wasn’t even about Foxy Brown and Jay-Z. It was just like, ‘I need you to help me save my life,’ and he just wasn’t there.”

But the past is the past and Jay looks like he's giving her another shot at rapping with him. It's like old times again.

Now maybe he can pass her on to Mrs. Tina Knowles and get her a dress her massive boob doesn't pop out of and we might be able to shoot a video!

Go Hard (Remix) Feat. Foxy Brown & Wayne Wonder

                                                      

Laughing

...on the outside!

I have a mini obsession with autobiographical essays, memoirs, and short stories. I own a stupid amount of books that fall into that category. Most of the time in I'm never interested enough in the person to actually read more than 20 pages about their life but I will read a short piece. The higher the drama and the more "real" it is, the more I love it. These sites is giving me my fix for now:

Rotten Neighbor

North American Bad Neighbors

Things You Prob Shouldn't Say

...While Someone Is Recording You

Round 1 

Etta James vs. Beyonce (or Sasha)

She went all Blanche Marie Elizabeth Hollingsworth Devereaux (thanx Wikipedia) on that ass. 

She's a feisty old thing. 

Jon Connor vs. Batman

 

The remix is most definitely something Bruce Wayne would dance to at the Jokers party to throw people off the scent that he's really Batman. 

(makes NO sense I know but my brain lives in comic book land)

TYRA MAIL

DIANE SAWYER COULDN'T SOBER UP BEFORE GMA STARTED TAPING!

Oooh Diane...you NEVER go on live this trashed! (unless you are a Kennedy)

I don't think I've ever seen her like this. It might be the only reason to watch GMA. How often does this happen?

Weeeell at least she has an excuse:

 

Stop being a horrendous beast Tyra.
'09 is the year for change. '08...not a good look.
Until that day, I'll keep blogging about you.

-B

For The First Time Ever

...I might have gotten a blind item correct:

BlindGossip - Yes, she is definitely pregnant. So why isn’t she announcing? Because there are two more pressing issues with which she is dealing. The first is that her relationship with the baby’s father is rather tenuous right now. Friendly in public, but lots of stress and squabbling in private. The second reason is that her very aggressive attorney is trying to wrangle down the source of some hurtful information about her that would certainly tarnish her image. So the pregnancy isn’t exactly at the top of the list in this trio of life issues.

Janet Jackson???

Easy, Breezy, Photoshop

MusicGirl

This just looks like a glossy Cover Girl ad. 

I guess Tyra is the Art Director for Kelly Clarksons new album.

Too Easy

Witty...ok

For The Oscars...this is as funny as it gets

I Hope I Don't Have A Brain Tumor

Like Eli Stone Or That Episode Of Scrubs Because...

I literally laughed myself into hysterics when this played  this morning while I was driving. I almost had to pull over. I was laughing like the Joker!

Why?

Because I started thinking about how much I  loved this song and guys that looked like this and thought he was SOOO deep and how he was so hot and perfect and was the coolest guy ever and now...

THAT'S SOMEBODY'S DAD!

LOL (but just me laughing AT me) 

I'm calling my DR

...Or you can make a video that looks like this...

Tyra Mail

Dear Soup host Joel McHale,

I am sorry I said that I thought you were gay live on the air. Not that there is ANYTHING wrong if you were, but there was no reason for me to say that. When someone mentioned your wife my mouth stopped working with my brain and I..."popped off". I know excuses, excuses. It was a long time ago.

:)

Anyway after watching last weeks show I grew to love you even more.

Happy Holidays! Lets hate on Tyra together this year.

xx

B